Save it for Death

“It’s the best and most intense the first time. Just don’t try to chase that first high, it won’t be like that again. And don’t use it too often – your body and mind needs time to heal and recharge your serotonin levels.”

This disclaimer, or similar, is what you often hear before your first time trying XTC, or any drug for that matter. You are told the first time is the best and most intense high you will get from using the drug and that you should not try to chase (i.e. replicate) that feeling, for it will be unattainable. You are also told to give your body and mind time to “recharge” the serotonin you are about to deplete.

“Recharge“?

Bold to assume serotonin can be “recharged” to its pre-depletion levels. How about this take: you do not have unlimited “rechargeable” serotonin, but a fixed amount that will only decrease as time goes by. Meaning, using synthetic drugs to artificially trigger the release of the chemical accelerates the depletion of your fixed reserves. This could have critical consequences for your future well-being, but also for your final death experience. I will list the possible consequences and delve into them one-by-one:

1. Deception of your body and mind;
2. Artificial exhaustion of fixed reserves (serotonin can not be recharged), resulting in;
   1. having insufficient reserves when your body and mind actually needs it;
      1. which will in turn trigger the onset of depression.
3. Having insufficient serotonin to peacefully accept death when it comes knocking on your door, resulting in a horrifying death experience (or eternal hell / purgatory).

When you are using synthetic drugs to alter your state of mind, you are forcefully deceiving your body and mind to experience a sensation that would not have occurred naturally. Even if you mentally prepare yourself for the sensation that is about to overcome you, your brains were not anticipating the natural need to release precious chemicals that cause that sensation, shocking your system, which results in an excessive release of serotonin the first time you try XTC or other state-of-mind altering drugs. This is why the first time is the most intense and pleasurable: you tricked your brain into an excessive release of serotonin because of the unexpected shock you gave to your system. This shock caused your brain to go in-overdrive, releasing an excessive amount of serotonin because you deceived the brain into believing you were in critical need of the released naturally-occurring chemical.

The strength of the sensation caused by the forced release of serotonin becomes less with each time you use mind-altering drugs. This can be ascribed to the brain’s incredible adaptability: it starts getting used to these unnatural shocks caused by alien chemicals and it adapts accordingly by releasing less serotonin each time it registers the deceptive occurrence, for the brain learns these shocks are unnatural – and a reserve needs to be maintained for when you truly need it.

However, the sensation decline is not appreciated by the user, so the user may resort to other methods in an effort to replicate the original feeling. Sometimes, the dosage of the synthetic substance is increased. Or the user grabs something different and heavier altogether, a substance not previously dealt with by your body and brain. These new, heavier shocks will for sure result in a temporary rejuvenation of the sensation the user was chasing, but it also forces your brain to become more drastic in how it deals with your continuous deception of it: your brain will, slowly but surely, start treating every shock it gets as unnatural – regardless of whether the shock was caused by foreign substances or not.

Congratulations, you have abused your body and mind so severely that you may have rendered it uncooperative in actual dire times.

The persistent forced depletion of your serotonin has exhausted your body and mind. You managed to deplete your serotonin reserves to a level where your brain simply refuses to give up any more of it – either because it wants to protect you and leave what is left for your final death experience, or because there simply is nothing left.

XTC is often cited as an effective treatment for depression. Perhaps, you sometimes used synthetic drugs to treat a depressive state of mind. But what if the frequent use of mind-altering drugs causes depression in the long run? Is it a coincidence that so many who started out “just experimenting” end up addicted, depressed, and often, eventually, dead?

We must not forget that these mind-altering drugs only temporarily hide the symptoms of mental diseases and crises – they are not cures. Depression is a state of mind – if you use drugs to deceive your brain into forcefully changing this mental state, you may be just setting yourself up for future failure.

One of the positive effects of XTC is that it makes you feel good and happy. It makes you so happy, that while you are on it and riding that high, even your worst enemies won’t seem that bad. You may even hug them. Such are the effects of the release of some serotonin.

Now when you die, all of your remaining serotonin is released: an explosion of serotonin. So powerful is that climax, that when the Grim Reaper comes to take your soul, you will go with him willingly – smiling on your death bed.

But what if you have no serotonin left? Then, the Grim Reaper will justify his name.

On a last note, I want to clarify there is a difference between synthetic drugs that one can use to get a high, and drugs that are naturally available. I know enough about drugs to know that naturally occurring stimulants are less harmful, when used in moderation. This can be religiously/spiritually interpreted as follows: naturally occurring drugs are less (or not) harmful for body and mind because they exist in nature, which was created by God. Synthetic drugs are always harmful (to body and mind) because they are man-made drugs, and man is inferior to God, so it is inevitable that these drugs will (always) be harmful to your body and mind, even if they provide temporary relief. One could then made the following counter-argument: “yet, naturally occurring drugs can also be harmful, for example if used too often.” –> That is your keyword, “too often”. Another counter-argument could be: “why do (natural) drugs exist if God did not want us to use it? What if someone discovers a new natural drug that turns out to be deadly after all, even if used in moderation?” –> Here, you’re making an assumption that everything that exists on earth, exists for us. Just because natural drugs exist, does not mean they exist for us. Perhaps they exist to maintain natural balance. Perhaps they are crucial for certain species. If there are drugs that are beneficial to mankind, they are usually developed to be used safely (medicinally or recreational). Do you swim in the Atlantic Ocean because it is there? Would you walk besides a tiger just because it exists alongside us on earth? Those type of counter-arguments are a sign of low-intellect. They are easy to make and can be applied to almost anything (whataboutism). They are also a sign of a weak body and mind, for this type of questioning is often asked by people who rely on certain things for their existence. They can not exercise control. And control is crucial. Perhaps all these drugs were planted by God just to tempt and to test us. The forbidden fruit, if you will. I do not know. Finally, if someone did discover a new natural drug that turns out to be deadly, we can draw several conclusions: 1) did this person find and try this drug by accident? If so, God bless his soul, he has saved thousands of lives for now we know of a deadly substance mankind should be aware of. Or 2) did this person go on an adventure to discover a new drug? If the latter is the case, the person was already of a weaker body and mind, for he went out of his way to deceive his own mind. What good word can you say of a person who tired his own body and mind in a search to deceive his body and mind even further? Is this a trustworthy person? Would our kind have advanced if his type were the default? I have said my final word.